The Fatherless Father

Growing up I did not have someone I could call dad. Though I did have a couple male role models, namely my uncle and my grandfather, there was no one I could call dad.

Growing up, my mom did an awesome job in filling in as Mom and Dad, but I always felt something was missing. When I was going through my young formidable years, I could not understand why almost all of my friend had a mom and dad. My mom and had a mom and a dad, almost everyone I knew had a mom and a dad, but I didn't. I usually was OK, but even today it still bothers me.

Fast forward a couple decades to today. I am with my beautiful girlfriend Leanne and her two, though sometimes a pain in butt, little girls. Both girls have captured my heart and though I do have any of my "own" children, I treat and look at them like they were my own. Kinda weird being thrown into fatherhood when both were toddlers, but I would not change anything about it.

Unfortunately, due to circumstances of their "father" he does not and frankly cannot be a part of the their lives, well he cannot be a part of their lives when this is being written anyway. Without going into the gritty details, suffice it to say, Leanne believes that if he were to show up at the house right now, neither of them would have a clue who he is.

We have all lived together for almost two years and I know they look at me as "Dad", but they still call me Mike. Which is fine with me. That is how they have always known me. Well, that is how they always refer to me as.

Though in the past, Leanne has said that one of the girls, who is in Kindergarten  refers to me as her dad to her friends, I have not heard her say that, not have she or her sister referred to me as that, but always by my name. But, a couple weeks ago, something that almost made me cry happened. I was picking up the one in kindergarten and when she came outside, called me "daddy". I just about melted right there and gave her a big hug. Though I have not heard her say that to me since then, I now know from her words that I am just more then "Mike". I hope her sister feels the same she does, which I think they do.

My wish is that I am a good dad to them. Not having a "Dad" myself, I hope I can be the best Dad to them someone can be. I hope that one day I not always referred to as "Mike", but as their Daddy.